This section gives a summary of what happens to a man when he has an orgasm. It will also explain ways in which a man can maintain a high libido by limiting the frequency of orgasms. This section will also tell you about my experiences with both having too frequent orgasms as well as how I increased my sexual energy and libido by limiting these orgasms. In addition, this section will provide information about ancient disciplines that have practiced (and still practice) these principles for thousands of years.
A healthy male body builds up desire for sexual activity, or libido, throughout the day and the night. This goes on pretty much non-stop as long as there are no crucial deficiencies in the body and the body is being well maintained.
At the same time, libido normally also fluctuates over time. Sometimes it’s high, sometimes it’s low. The low-point of libido often occurs right after a man has had an ejaculatory orgasm (simultaneous orgasm and ejaculation). At this point, a man’s sex drive has been satisfied and there is normally no or very little libido remaining.
The experience of an ejaculatory orgasm is provided or supported by a cocktail of chemicals such as epinephrine (adrenaline), norepinephrine, oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine and testosterone. Testosterone and dopamine are in addition essential for erectile functioning and for supporting the entire sexual process.
Immediately after the ejaculatory orgasm, the brain is flushed with waves of a hormone called prolactin. This flush of prolactin changes things very quickly. Prolactin promptly brings a man back to reality after an ejaculatory orgasm. Prolactin puts the euphoria of the orgasm to an abrupt end and makes any desire for further sex vanish. Then sluggishness and tiredness often kick in. The man now enters what is called the refractory period. This is a period where a man is typically unable to enjoy further sexual stimulation.
The experience of an orgasm is normally very pleasurable, and it’s in fact one of the most enjoyable and intense sensations we can have (naturally). Therefore, many people will want to have these pleasurable orgasms frequently.
I was no exception. As a young adult, I would have sex or masturbate almost every day and I would always end it with an orgasm. Even when I felt sexually exhausted, I would still do this, because the craving of the orgasm was so incredibly strong. I therefore often exhausted myself even further, and sometimes ended up completely depleted.
As I was struggling with erectile dysfunction and an almost non-existent libido, I realized that after I had an ejaculatory orgasm, it would normally take me at least a day, but often more, before I would be interested in having sex again. If I were to have two ejaculatory orgasms in a day or close to each other, it would normally take me several days to again be keen on having sex. Or put differently, if I had frequent ejaculatory orgasms, my libido would be close to zero and it would almost be impossible for me to get an erection.
I then learned about the practice of limiting the frequency of ejaculatory orgasms in order to keep the body highly sexually charged. This practice claimed that by not having these orgasms at all, or try to limit them significantly, one should be able to get more energy, be more focused, have a stronger libido and generally feel more alive. I was curious and wanted to give it a go. Although it was difficult to practice, the effects were astonishing! For me, this was simply a game-changer.
By abstaining from having ejaculatory orgasms, I built up a tremendously strong sex drive. And I was able to keep this sex drive continuously high. By retaining instead of flushing away all the hard-earned libido, I stored up and kept building my libido and I could remain full of sexual energy. Total abstinence is difficult, if not impossible. However, if these ejaculatory orgasm can be limited, I have personally experienced and also learned from other men, that it can both build libido tremendously as well as enable a man to get erections easier, frequently and for the erections to last pretty much as long as one would desire.
I still practice this myself with very good results. I try to reduce the frequency of ejaculatory orgasms to once every 4-6 weeks, or longer if I am able to. This keeps my sexual energy super-charged. And, my libido is not only high towards the end of this period, but my libido also rebuilds very quickly after I have an ejaculatory orgasm. In addition, by having these orgasms less frequently, the “hangover” or anti-climax experienced post the ejaculatory orgasm also becomes less severe. Hence I rarely ever feel fatigued or exhausted the day after having this orgasm. To me, the practice of limiting my ejaculatory orgasms has been an absolutely fantastic technique to 1) keep libido super high and also, 2) to significantly reduce any occurrence of erectile dysfunction.
However, abstinence from ejaculatory orgasms does not mean abstinence from sex. Quite the opposite. It is fully possible to have frequent sex without having ejaculatory orgasms. In fact, by building up a very strong libido, a man normally desires more sex, and may as a result end up having sex more frequently.
Abstinence from ejaculatory orgasms can be practiced by either:
- Not having orgasms or ejaculations
- Having ejaculations without orgasms
- Having orgasms without ejaculations
The first option is for most men the easiest. The other two alternatives may be more difficult to practice.
A man can practice the first option above quite simply by stopping or slowing down sexual stimulation before he reaches the point of the ejaculatory orgasm. I have myself practiced this ever since I first discovered it.
I do this by experiencing sexual stimulation very close to the point where I have a full ejaculatory orgasm. When I get close to the ejaculatory orgasm, I stop or slow down the sexual stimulation (depending on how intense it is). After a few seconds, when the intense sensations have subsided a little, I restart the stimulation. By doing this, I am able to prolong the pleasurable sensations for longer than I otherwise would have. And I can do it over and over again.
Needless to say, I don’t get to the peak of the sensations (which would be the ejaculatory orgasm) but I get very close, perhaps to 90% of the peak, and I also get to remain in this zone for a long time. I also often go in and out of this intense zone several times. In this way, I can have sex for a very long time if I desire to.
If I were to try to illustrate this, instead of this looking like one tall mountain top, it would look like many smaller tops that were far reaching but which were also a bit lower in altitude than the mountain top.
In addition to limiting the frequency of ejaculatory orgasms, I also sometimes have sex to the point where I ejaculate without having an orgasm (2nd option above). Meaning I actually ejaculate a full load without having an orgasm.
I discovered this technique by a complete accident many years ago. While I was slowing down the sexual stimulation right before an ejaculatory orgasm. I got too close to the orgasm and ended up ejaculating – but I did not have an orgasm. In the past, there had sometimes been very small amounts of pre-ejaculate oozing out, but nothing major. This was a complete ejaculation!
I have now learned how to separate the two. I do this by experiencing sexual stimulation very, very close to the point where I have a full ejaculatory orgasm. When I get super close to the ejaculatory orgasm, almost to the point-of-no-return, I stop the sexual stimulation. If I can get close enough, I am able to ejaculate without having an orgasm.
If I want to, I can continue the sexual stimulation a few minutes after the ejaculation, and the sensations I experience after the restart are almost as strong as they were before I ejaculated. This is because my body has not triggered the same release of prolactin it would if I were to have an ejaculatory orgasm, and I therefore don’t experience the same level of fatigue and loss of libido.
However, this does flush away some of my libido. But sometimes it can be a good thing to let go of a little steam, particularly if libido gets too strong. This also helps to avoid experiencing vasocongestion (or “blueballs”) which sometimes happen to me when I don’t ejaculate during intense sexual stimulation.
Based on what I have learned from other men, it should also be possible to have an orgasm without ejaculating (number 3 above). I have not been able to do this, so I cannot yet say how this would impact the process of building libido. I do however intend to explore this further in the future.
I have also done a very fun experiment: I went 100 days without having an ejaculatory orgasm. And what happened to me during this periods was mighty interesting. First of all, it almost drove me crazy because I would get so horny and my libido got so extremely intense, it became a very serious distraction. I almost imagined boning every attractive woman I passed in the streets, in the office, on the subway and everywhere else. I would think about sex way too often, I would get erections when I thought about sex, and I would also get spontaneous erections out of nowhere. I would basically be non-stop horny.
In addition, my energy levels would be sky-high, my mental focus would be razor sharp, my confidence would be almost bulletproof, and I would overall feel just fantastic. I would also wake up earlier in the morning as it seemed I needed less sleep. And when day number 100 came and I finally allowed myself to have an ejaculatory orgasm, it was just amazing. It was so intense that it was on par with the first orgasm ever.
Why would I feel such an increased level of energy, being super confident, having a razor-sharp focus and seemingly needing less sleep during this experiment? One theory for all this is that the longer since last time a man had an orgasm, the more his genes wants to procreate. His genes are basically encouraging him to impregnate a woman and pass on the genes to the next generation. The genes whisper: ‘It has been too long since last time you tried to pass us on to a new body – do it now!’. And in order to push him towards procreation, he becomes more alert, gets more energy, becomes more confident, libido strengthens, etc., and therefore the likelihood of finding and impregnating a woman is increased.
My personal discoveries are by no means novel or ground-breaking. The discipline of limiting ejaculatory orgasms has been practiced for thousands of years. According to the eastern philosophy of Tao formulated over centuries ago, a man can preserve and retain his semen in order to enhance his strength, health and longevity. The ‘retention of the semen’ is one of the basic principles of Taoist sexual practice. Taoist sexual practice believes that men that have ejaculatory orgasms infrequently will grow strong, have a clearer mind, will have a stronger sexual appetite, will avoid premature ageing, diseases, and general fatigue.
A significant body of scientific research has shown that ejaculations to the point of sexual satiation, triggers multiple changes in the brain. For instance, in the brains of sexually exhausted rats, scientists have measured the following changes:
- Reduced number of androgen receptors
- Increased number of estrogen receptors
- Increases in opioids that block libido
Some brain changes takes form after one ejaculation as certain libido-decreasing opioids rise right away. Androgen receptors begin a progressive decline as the brain is more and more sexually exhausted from ejaculatory orgasms. Research has found that from a single ejaculatory orgasm, it takes about 7 days for androgen receptor density to return to normal levels. Estrogen receptors also increase gradually as the brain gets exhausted.
Scientific analysis has also shown semen to be an extraordinary nutritious liquid and generally far richer than any regular nutritional supplement one can buy at a health store. When a man ejaculates, he is parting with some of the body’s most valuable nutrients. It takes the body effort and time to replenish these nutrients, which may be another argument for not ejaculating too often. It is also reported that when ejaculation frequency exceeds the capacity of the body to fully replenish semen, men can experience chronic fatigue, loss of focus, irritability, etc.
In fact, the rate of human sperm production is among the lowest of all mammals, therefore frequent ejaculation would rapidly deplete available sperm. According to research, a young man who ejaculates every third day would not deplete sperm supplies, meaning that ejaculating every third day will keep a young man ‘topped up’ with sperm. However this frequency changes with age, as older men produce less sperm.
In a study where men ejaculated an average of 2.4 times a day over ten days, their sperm output remained below pre-depletion levels for more than five months. Therefore, short burst of ejaculating too frequently can also have long-lasting consequences.
Of all the ways I have changed my life, of all the experimentation I have done, of all the ways I have tried to listen to and tune into my body and mind in order to overcome erectile dysfunction and a faltering libido, I would say that one of the most important changes I have made, if not the most important change, has been to limit the frequency of my ejaculatory orgasms. Building up libido and supercharging my body has for me had wonderful results.
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