What on Earth Should I Do Now?
Here I was, in my 20’s and not able to function sexually. I had a problem. A big problem. And I had zero self-confidence at this point. I was lost. My bright outlook on life was shattered to pieces. I didn’t want this.
And it was not only erectile dysfunction that had hit me. My libido was also practically gone. I didn’t think about sex, didn’t have random sexual thoughts and didn’t particularly want to have sex. My sex drive had basically vanished.
The bizarre thing about it was that it didn’t make any sense to me. Why would this happen to someone who was in his 20’s, who was relatively athletic, exercised regularly, had a normal western diet, didn’t smoke, rarely drank alcohol and overall lived a seemingly healthy life? If I were 66 years old when this happened, it would be different and it would be easier to understand. But I really had to deal with this in my 20’s??
I was confused. Lost. And sad. But I got myself together, I accepted that I had big problems, and I then started thinking about how to get out of it. What could I possibly do to overcome my problems?
Since I was completely in the dark, I decided that step one was to try to educate myself about my conditions – erectile dysfunction and libido problems. I decided I needed to get to the bottom of understanding these conditions. I needed to understand the root causes of these problems. If I understood why these problems were occurring, maybe I could then figure out how to fix myself?
My first port of call was the internet. I started searching and educating myself about what was happening to me. There was a lot less information out on the web back then than there is today, but I nonetheless found several good articles, research studies, news stories, etc. And I read every relevant piece I could find.
My first attempt to solve my problems was to experiment with an herb called gingko biloba. I had found a website with glowing recommendations for how this herb could cure erectile dysfunction and give life to a sputtering libido. However this turned out to be a dead end.
I spent hours and hours in a discussion forum for erectile dysfunction to absorb as much information I possibly could. I bought books to continue my learning process. I checked out online videos. I found lots of suggestions about foods to eat to combat these problems. I also found information about other herbal supplements, exercises and other lifestyle changes, including exercise, smoking, drinking, etc.
I didn’t know whether this was good or bad advice, but I had no prior knowledge or experience with any of this, so I plunged into it. I tried lots of different supplements and herbs, I tried different diets, different exercise regimes, tried to sleep more and better, as well as making other adjustments to life.
This quest for a solution to my problems turned out to become the most time-consuming and significant project I had ever undertaken.
However, I wasn’t very systematic in how I approached this. I tried some of this, then some of that, then moved on to something else. In many cases I didn’t try something for long enough or with adequate diligence to see results. I didn’t keep a record of what I had done, so I often even forgot what I had done in the past.
However, I had a few interesting discoveries along the journey. One was related to diet. During one period of my life, I had a very unhealthy diet. It consisted of the cheapest cereal and milk for breakfast, bread with peanut butter for lunch and pasta and pasta sauce for dinner. This was more or less what I ate every day for several months. During this period, I had zero sex drive.
I then changed my diet quite drastically to a vegetarian diet which was varied and rich in nutrition. After just a few days, my libido jumped back to life! It was a startling epiphany. I could hardly believe it!
Another interesting discovery took place when I was on a hiking trip in sunny mountains for a week. During this trip, I was just relaxing, enjoying the nature, the scenery and the company of good friends. Sex was not on my mind at all. I would just hike, eat, chat, sleep and chill – and that was it.
However, towards the end of the trip I noticed I was getting unusually horny. I would start having random sexual thoughts followed by erections. This was not what I was used to! If I touched myself, I would get hard and remain hard for unusually long. What was going on? Why would a hike in the mountains make my libido come back to life?
A third interesting discovery came from trying out herbal supplements. Although they typically didn’t work, there was also sporadic success with some of the herbal supplements. A couple of the supplements did give me some effect – I could feel an increase in sensations from sex, and it might have been slightly easier to get erections. However, the effects were faint, and by no means enough to help me with my problems. The effects were also inconsistent and unreliable.
Because I couldn’t find anything that worked for me, and because I was dying to have a normal sex-life, I decided it was time to try pharmaceutical drugs. I had high hopes that this would finally fix my problems.
And it did. The drugs worked like a charm! It was almost a life-saver at the time. I could hardly believe how well these pharmaceutical drugs worked. I could hardly believe my luck! The drugs worked consistently and didn’t fail to produce the desired results. I could trust them every time I had sex. They made me relax and enjoy sex again. I once again felt like a man. I was tremendously grateful for having found something that took care of my erectile dysfunction problem.
However, although these drugs fixed my erectile dysfunction problems, they did nothing to improve my libido. I still didn’t crave sex, I still didn’t think about sex, I still wouldn’t get random erections. Sex was still not a driving force or motivation in me. It only happened when I took the drugs.
However, I don’t like drugs. I never did. There are three major reasons for this:
- Drugs are very often an easy and unnecessary solution. For instance, often when a person has a headache or feel slight pain, he will take a painkiller to combat the pain. But there is a reason why we feel this pain (or get sore, or can’t move, or cough, etc.). It’s because a part of our body or mind is ill. The pain is a signal from the body stating that the body (or mind, or both) is out of balance. Often what the body needs is rest, or for us to stop doing a certain action. If we act according to the signals from the body, the body will often sort out the problem itself. If we don’t listen to the body but rather ignore the signals and continue on, the body is likely to remain in imbalance, and the situation may even worse.
- Drugs are generally very imprecise devices. It’s like – instead of digging a small hole in the ground for a tiny plant with my hands, I use an enormous excavator to make the hole. I probably removed the dirt I intended to, but probably removed a lot more as well. Similarly, drugs tend to treat the intended ailment, but they also normally impact several other functions in the body. Or put differently, they have several side-effects.
- Drugs very often only treat the symptoms, not the underlying cause of the illness. For instance with erectile dysfunction, drugs can help a man get an erection, but they do nothing to cure the underlying problem. Therefore, patients often become dependent on these drugs to treat the symptoms for the rest of their lives, but the problem is still there.
I try to never take medication or drugs when I am in pain or when I am sick. I want to let my body get a chance to sort out the problem itself. Therefore, taking a drug before having sex never sat easily with me – it was something I wish I didn’t have to do. I also hated the side effects. My face would normally flush and get hot and my visions would also get blurred. I often also got a stuffy nose. I really wanted to get off the drugs. I was badly itching to find a way to solve erectile dysfunction without having to take these pharmaceutical drugs.
However, I didn’t succeed in finding anything else that worked consistently and therefore kept on taking the drugs.
Then one day, after having taken pharmaceutical drugs for a long time, the effect of the drugs started to taper off. The drugs started to become less and less effective. I had to take higher and higher doses to get the desired effect. Then the effect from the drugs disappeared. My body had built up tolerance towards the drugs and they had stopped working. All of a sudden, taking the drugs produced no effect for me.
I had nothing now that helped me. Nothing to lean on. I was now impossible for me to have sex. My world again crumbled to pieces. I again felt this empty sensation, just interrupted every now and then by anger at the world.
That was when I decided to try to fix myself from the ground up, almost no matter the effort. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to be normal. It was time for a change.
To learn what I did next, please go here.